Pick Up Your Tiny Burden

by Billy Pettinger

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1.
Everlong 05:18
2.
We were just kids When it all started happening Caught in the tempest Abandoned and reckless and family And then I learned how to sleep Falling fast in your arms The screams getting duller, their ammunition Disarmed I can't believe you could understand The concept of killing a losing hand Clenching to dreams I would dare to forget The blood in my hair and the blood on the steps The Blood in my hair and the blood on the steps Blood in my hair and there was nothing left We are just kids And this is really happening Alone, unprotected, ignored and defenseless and family And then I learned how to breathe Erase the scars from my arms Calm and collected, I woke up and turned off the car I can't believe you could understand The concept of killing a losing hand Clenching to dreams I would dare to forget The blood in my hair and the blood on the steps The Blood in my hair and the blood on the steps Blood in my hair and there was nothing left Hold on so I can let go For once an anchor in this undertow Pull me in so I don't wash away In the current of these memories I can't believe you could understand The concept of killing a losing hand Clenching to dreams I would dare to forget The blood in my hair and the blood on the steps The Blood in my hair and the blood on the steps Blood in my hair and there was nothing left
3.
I could add it up, I could write it all down In the middle of the night when the lights went out I could take a guess, I could pull right out of this I could be accountable for all that I missed South of Carolina I stood out in the rain Trying to find the words, trying to explain When I look at you, I don't feel the same Here we go, here we go, here we go again It wasn't nothing you were doing I just gotta keep moving it wasn't nothing you were saying I just ain't no good at staying East of Tennessee I was just about done Trapped being the wheel and with nowhere to run Ten hours of redemption could have saved anyone But I'm right here beside you, and I don't even get one It wasn't nothing you were doing I just gotta keep moving it wasn't nothing you were saying I just ain't no good at staying I could add it up I could write it down But I don't know when the lights went out It wasn't nothing you were doing I just gotta keep moving it wasn't nothing you were saying I just ain't no good at staying It wasn't nothing you were doing I just gotta keep moving it wasn't nothing you were saying I just ain't no good at staying
4.
Enough 03:14
I was a bad kid I was a punk And as you can imagine I didn't amount to much Well this is what happens In the ghetto and such And it isn't that tragic Okay maybe a touch I used to stand on the corner with pockets of drugs All my best friends were the kids who couldnt get enough Yeah they could never get enough Yeah, I could never get enough I walked out the front door So I guess it's my fault I was just sick of the cop cars Getting calls for assault But when you're a write-off You get blamed by default They stick you in a halfway house full of thieves and pimps And fill you full of lithium salts You know I used to stand on the corner with pockets of drugs All my best friends were the kids who couldnt get enough Yeah they could never get enough Yeah I could never get enough Yeah I can never get enough When you grow up like that you learn you gotta learn to make it back Cause every morning when you leave the house You get a one way ticket out And you know you gotta learn to make it back And nobody's gonna bring you home Nobody's gonna bring you back Nobody's gonna bring you home I used to stand on the corner with all kinds of drugs All my best friends were the kids who couldnt get enough Yeah they could never get enough Yeah they could never get enough Yeah I can never get enough Yeah I can never get enough I can never get enough
5.
I was going to right it, write it down and then get out You were not the one You were never the one The downbeat The downstream Splitting Splitting at the seams I was going to add it Add it up when you showed up Haven't you had enough You were out there collapsing Thank you for asking This isn't happening This isn't happening But I'm ok Yeah, I'm ok I just need to get away Yeah, I'm ok I am How was your day? Are you happier now? Do the clouds slip away when you start stepping out? I don't know what youre talking about I was up in hiding Thank you for writing Stars, stars, stars are colliding Out there in space Folding themselves away Do you need me today Do you need me today But I'm ok Yeah, I'm ok I just need to get away Yeah, I'm ok I was How was your day? Are you happier now? Do the clouds slip away when you start stepping out? I don't know what youre talking about How was your day? Are you happier now? Do the clouds slip away when you start stepping out? I don't know what youre talking about I don't know what youre talking about
6.
Sometimes I don't want to be where I am, so I'll fall in love It's the best way to get out of town and stop all the things that I've been thinking of I know that you don't want to admit it but I know you've seen a couple things before It isn't that I wanted to quit it's just that I wanted something, and you weren't it Sometimes I don't want to follow you down But sometimes I don't want to go alone Itfeels just like the best part's gone Cause you don't talk, you don't call and you're never home I have seen a couple things before And I know the sound of someone giving up I think I shouldn't say anymore This is all I am and it ain't ever enough This is all I am and it ain't ever enough Are you out there waiting For someone with something worth saying? Can you call me again tonight? Sometimes I don't want to wake up alone But sometimes, people they just talk too loud Do you ever fall asleep with your phone Just in case someone calls to ask you out? I've seen a couple things before And I know the sound of someone giving up I think I couldn't take anymore This is all I am and it ain't ever enough This is all I am and it ain't ever enough Are you out there waiting For someone with something worth saying? Can you call me again tonight?
7.
Somewhere in the highlight reel Backed up against the wall Every time the sun comes up The day breaks the tape and you call it off You could learn a lot out here As the stars collide Everything will disappear and I'll kind of wish that I had stayed inside Close your eyes I don't want to sleep alone tonight Take my hand Tell me everything you said that night again Can it never end Something in the circumstance I know I began to change Maybe you were worth the chance Or maybe I just should have stayed the same And now it doesn't make a difference And the damage is done Hey I could have been anything Hey, you could have been The one Close your eyes I don't want to fall asleep alone tonight Take my hand Tell me everything you said that night again Can it never end Close your eyes I don't want to fall asleep alone tonight Take my hand Tell me everything you said that night again Can it never end Close your eyes Close your eyes I don't want to fall asleep alone tonight Close your eyes
8.
We met by accident out in the gutter A New York minute A dirty black summer no time to think No time to recover (Oh just drive) Get in the car now, before we go under The lower east side might start to wonder I've got a habit and it's got my number That's my wife And she's gone Her picture stays on the wall That's my wife, and she's gone She's gone Smackheads on lemon drops under the covers She was my sanctity, she was my lover I kick the habit, I'm thinking of her (Oh just drive) Blisters and meltdowns and airports and thunder Blitzed out amazement and dillated wonder I climbed to the bottom I learned to try again from her That's my wife And she's gone Her picture stays on the wall That's my wife, and she's gone She's gone Baby come Don't come back Don't come back Baby, come Don't come back Don't come back That's my wife And she's gone Her picture stays on the wall That's my wife, and she's gone She's gone
9.
Falling 02:59
I was waiting for the backlash Flashback to the trenches I thought that you knew that! Everything is just a repeat/release I lost the message in delivery I remember letting go I remember falling Can somebody get me home? There's somebody calling I was again on the tarmac Throwback to the places I don't want to go back Contemplating just leaving, perceiving the distance expended to find out the meaning I remember letting go I remember falling Can somebody get me home? There's somebody calling I remember letting go I remember falling Can somebody get me home... There's somebody calling *shredshredshredshredshred* I remember letting go I remember falling Falling I remember letting go I remember falling Can somebody get me home There's somebody calling I remember letting go I remember falling Can somebody get me home There's somebody calling
10.
I keep writing you letters That I ain't never gonna send You keep saying you're better So much better than back then And I wait up all night But you never call Even if you're right, boy I'm still taking off I keep taking the subway The wrong way into town I just don't want to see you But I gotta get out of this house You're everywhere I turn In everything I own And you're so far gone now But can you please come home Tell me it was in my mind And I didn't fall asleep last night When you never got to take me home And I didn't wake up alone I'm still looking for answers In the cracks in the city streets I'm still waiting for someone Who isn't waiting for me And I could walk all day Just trying to forget The way you looked away The way there's nothing left Tell me it was in my mind And i didn't fall asleep last night When you never got to take me home And I didn't wake up alone And I didn't wake up alone
11.
Camdentown 03:24
I keep on wondering when it's gonna happen I keep on waiting for things to change Then the lights go out, and I'm back on the street again I keep on adding up the accidentals And possessions out of state Sometimes I want to get them Sometimes I want to give them away Maybe I will make a bunch of money and you will move to Canada Maybe I will always be running Well I don't know I can't think right now I've been stumbling around London Halfway on a whim Half to try and get somewhere that I ain't never been But now the party's over And the cops have all been called And I kind of feel like I was never here at all Maybe I will make a bunch of money and you will move to Canada Maybe I will always be running And I don't know I can't think right now I don't know I can't think right now Meet me in the middle, that's somewhere in Buffalo What do I know If even just a little, I feel like I should have known you'd never go And now I'm starting all over again Meet me in the middle just tell me when Meet me in the middle just tell me when Meet me in the middle goddammit just tell me when Maybe I will make a bunch of money and we will move to Camdentown Maybe I will always be running Well I don't know I can't think right now Well I don't know Cause I can't think right now I don't know Cause I can't think right now
12.
Darling, if you're out there Can you please come and find me? I've been waiting for so long Everytime I fall in love I always wake up sorry Cause you're here and then you're gone And I don't know what went wrong So darling if you're out there Can you please come and find me? I thought you might be at the bar My friends are getting worried They say I shouldn't give up But I might not make it I still don't know where you are I made a shirt that said "Fall In Love With Me" I took an ad out in the obituaries just in case you like to frequent places as sad as some of the nights I've had Everybody's happy And making out under streetlights I could make careers of looking up But the sky isn't falling It's just nobody's calling and it's getting desperate I think I have had enough I made a sign and it said "Fall In Love With Me" I took an ad out in the obituaries just in case you like to frequent places as sad as some of the nights I've had You might not even exist Hell, we might have already met, I probably broke your heart And now I'm claiming it's just something I missed But if you can hear me I take it all back now Can you send a postcard, or a carrier pigeon, and please track me down somehow And fall in love me, please And fall in love with me, please Please fall in love with me I made a sign It said "Fall In Love With Me" I took an ad out in the obituaries Just in case you like to frequent places as sad As some of the nights I've had Please, fall in love with me.
13.
Well he like a little rain And he likes a cool breeze And he likes a little change in them Sycamore trees And he likes the finer things Like a glass of red and the Rites of Spring And I like him just fine But he ain't mine I work in receiving I let them all in they just end up leaving And I stare at the ceiling every night And I wonder are And are you looking up at the same old stars I moved back to the coast so they don't seem so far I moved back to the coast so they don't seem so far I like the way he talks And I like the way he moves Yeah, I guess I like it all But girl, he don't belong to you And I like those Southern night, under every city light And i like him just fine But he ain't mine She likes the summer days And she likes a little peace She likes the simple things And the spaces in between She likes the revelry And the what will be is what will be And i like her just fine but she ain't mine I like the way he talks And I like the way he moves Yeah, I guess I like it all But girl, he don't belong to you And I like those Southern night, under every city light And i like him just fine But he ain't mine
14.
I didn't know what I was thinking The proof is in the pudding/in the punch Cause when you asked what I was doing i knew I wasn't ready but I still asked you if you would pick me up Cause I'm not the one when I found it was done Locked myself in a house for a year And everyone knows how it goes when he goes down the road to the bar for a beer And I'm alone and I don't even live here Somehow I woke up in Niagara Falls I still had a bunch of records at your house The house that you bought with the crazy one The one you told me who had done you wrong But then she moved back in And now she's gone Cause I'm not the one when I found it was done Locked myself in a house for a year And everyone knows how it goes when he goes down the road to the bar for a beer And I'm alone and I don't even live here When you came to me and said "We should write some songs and then take this show on the road" How was a poor girl to know that you were just trying to get me in bed Now I'm writing on my own again Cause I'm not the one when I found it was done Locked myself in a house for a year And everyone knows how it goes when he goes down the road to the bar for a beer I'm not the one when I found it was done Locked myself in the house for a year And everyone knows how it goes when he goes down the road to the bar for a beer And I'm alone and I don't even live here
15.
At any moment, it could all be over At any moment Everything could change And like a gambler betting on a fixed fight As soon as you go down You're back again I get the feeling everybody's crazy The definition of insanity is waiting for the words I know you know you'd use Let's just pretend that it was news to me I don't know why you left You said that you needed a cigarette But you were packed when I got back And the car was parked out front with a full tank of gas I had a vision everyone exploded There's something to be said for circumstance Not everything that's made is really made to last You told me this as we were holding hands And as the snow began to fall in April I looked for answers in the alleyways And out the window of your apartment And in the rooftops and the weathervanes I don't know why you left You said that you needed a cigarette But you were packed when I got back And the car was parked outside with a full tank of gas Tell me why the car was parked out front with a full tank of gas Yeah, I know why you left You said that you needed a cigarette But you were packed when I got back And the car was parked out front with a full tank of gas Yeah I know why you left You said that you needed a cigarette But you got back with your ex And I don't even smoke but I need cigarette I don't even smoke And I need a cigarette
16.
Don't bother taking me home When the light's go out I've had enough of it Don't bother waking me up This is it I'm alright, I'm just not picking up And I wait for you Like you told me to Like I wanted to Like I wanted you Locked in a dark lit hotel There's a world outside They want to know you're alive And they're trying to get in But I just went out And it's all adding up And I wait for you Like you told me to Like I wanted to Like I wanted you Roses like petals that fall from the shelf Meet me in Memphis, I said to myself it's a cry for help Get me out And I wait for you Like you taught me to Like I wanted to And I wait for you Like you taught me to Like I wanted to Like I wanted you
17.
There's a kid with a kite out my window I guess he doesn't know Nothing's gonna change No matter how the wind blows And a tiny baseball team Hits a tiny home run How many years will standing here in a field still be fun? Nothing's gonna change That's just the way it goes The world keeps spinning around the same No matter how the wind blows There's a kid with this dog out my window He's trying to learn to throw How many years since his dad's been here And does he even know? How long since he made the team And sits in his room and screams He'll be in jail by 17 Nothing's gonna change It's just the way it goes The world keeps spinning around the same No matter how the wind blows Birds are circling from above They're scouting all around No one tells the smallest out who is closest to the ground Guess he doesn't know Oh no, there he goes No matter how the wind blows Nothing's going to change It's just the way it goes The world keeps spinning around the same No matter how the wind blows
18.
I had a handful of places I would follow you I had a long, long list of things I would do Like pack it up and start again in Kathmandu But I ain't gonna be a part of breaking her heart too I would have crossed the ocean and left my hometown i would have shut out the whole world just to get you around And I would give it up, this traveling and these hotel rooms But I ain't gonna be a part of breaking her heart too I would change my name, I will start over again I'd put up with the rain and missing all my friends There's so many things that your love could get me to do But I ain't gonna be a part of breaking her heart too I would have left my whole family Moved away from the coast I would have traded in all the things that I love the most And it would mean giving up this heart again just for you But I ain't gonna be a part of breaking her heart too I would change my name, I will start over again I'd put up with the rain and missing all my friends There are so many things that your love could get me to do But I ain't gonna be a part of breaking her heart too I could pretend you love me and that this is right And that you weren't running home to her every night While I was trying my hardest not to fall for you Cause I can't be a part of breaking her heart too I would change my name, I will start over again I would put up with the rain and missing all my friends There are so many things that your love could get me to do But I ain't gonna be a part of breaking her heart too
19.
I like books where you can rip out the pages From what I've learned, life always rearranges and lets you down Don't let it get you down In this world, it is worth waiting Sometimes I think you don't know what you're saying Get me out Get me out of this town These American Cities These American streets These American boys with their Southern charms when they talk to me And my Canadian ways Believing what they say I'm gonna check my head before I ever get back again I was up in arms You were a write-off Maybe you should just take the night off I don't where it is that you go And now I'm out of options and I'm stranded And you've been drinking ever since we landed Well if I'd known I would have just gone home In these American Cities These American streets These American boys with their Southern charms when they talk to me My Canadian ways Believing what they say I'm gonna check my head before I ever get back again Between the James and the boarded up dreams Of a city decidedly lost I was split, cut, divided in two Void of a reason and waiting for you Void of a reason and waiting for you These American Cities These American streets These American boys with their Southern charms when they talk to me My Canadian ways Believing what they say I'm gonna check my head before I ever get Gonna check my head before I ever get Gonna check my head before I ever get back again
20.
I get the feeling everybody's crazy I don't go outside much lately I close the shutters and I wait for something to change I guess I've been a little bit uptight lately Hiding out where nobody can save me I get a coffee and I gotta give a secret name Lately the madness Is taking over for all the sadness The apollo landed Somebody planned it I was a kid walking out your door I can't even find my house anymore Lived so many places and I left so many times Sometimes I'll walk around for days on end I'll walk across town and I'll go back Every time I do I leave another piece behind Lately the madness Is taking over for all the sadness The apollo landed Somebody planned it Don't even know what city I'm in I'm calling it off before I even begin The apollo landed Somebody planned it Christopher Atkinson told me I was the one Come to think of it They all did I either have a really great track record or no one wants to die alone I'm 31 and I live out of a storage facility Lately the madness is taking over for all the sadness The apollo landed Somebody planned it
21.
Hey I forgot to call I was busy lining the walls with shelves for words I should have felt I get distracted, overwhelmed Hey Are we casting off I was busy trying to make it stop It's gone It's over now There's no one left to bail us out. Underground In the dust and the soot from the fallout In the dust and the soot from the fallout Hey Are we counting down You know, it doesn't make a difference now Amongst the heaps and scraps, out in the wreckage, no one lasts Are you coming back? Cause I forgot to ask This shelter is real, it's sealing up Are you in or out or had enough? Underground In the dust and the soot from the fallout In the dust and the soot from the fallout Hey. I forgot to call. I was busy lining the walls with shelves for words I should have felt. I get distracted, overwhelmed. Underground. In the dust and the soot from the fallout. In the dust and the soot from the fallout
22.
I woke up screaming Is anybody out there? The lights used to be so clear But I can't see without you near And as you were leaving I said get me out of here Cause I can't sleep without you near me I can't breathe I can't think clearly It could always go the other way Not everyone will let you down Sometimes it's bound to work out Out in the wreckage it was a catastrophe You out there with your heart broken Me in bed with both eyes open You say that you saw me and knew that it would all work out Now I know what I've been missing Just stop me Just stop and listen It could always go the other way Not everyone will let you down Sometimes it's bound to work out It could always go the other way Cause I'm out here and I'm done running This could be It could be something Take me with you where you're going And there is no way of knowing How long I could last without you It could always go the other way Not everyone will let you down Sometimes it's bound to work out It could always go the other way Not everyone will let you down I'm out here and I'm done running This could be It could be something I'm out here and I'm done running

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released December 12, 2016

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Billy Pettinger Alabama

Song maker from Canada now in Alabama.

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