Look At Me, I'm Fine

by Billy Pettinger

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1.
Smoke 03:49
All your words Turn to smoke I don’t miss the way I used to feel I don’t miss the way I used to choke The call came down From behind my lungs Either way I knew we were Over before we’d begun I’ll be fine and you won’t change I remember as I cross out your name That I may haunt you But you are the ghost As everything we were Goes up in smoke Let me go Or take it back Every word you ever wrote Slips through the cracks It wasn’t you It wasn’t me Clouding visibility I run my hand through the air It’s like you were never there I’m alright and you don’t change I remembered as I crossed out your name I may haunt you But you were the ghost Now everything we were Has gone up in smoke Everything we were Everything we were Everything we were Yeah I’ll be fine And you won’t change I remembered as I crossed out your name I may haunt you But you are the ghost Everything we were Everything we were Was all just smoke
2.
I need somewhere to go Someone to talk to It's game over Never thought that you could die from exposure It's gonna take a little while to leave the house Every time I don't believe the sound of the end The sound of you fading out Can I get a little closure The static just won't turn down Say it isn't over It's gonna take a little time to see this out If anything means anything Don't tell me that it's alright I just want to watch it Watch burn Ashes on my hands every night Trading off and taking, taking Taking turns Don't tell me that it's alright I just want to watch it, watch it burn Trading off and taking, taking Taking I need somewhere to go Someone to talk to It's game over Never thought that you would die from exposure It's gonna take a little while to see this one out If anything means anything Don't tell me that it's alright I just want to watch it Watch burn Ashes on my hands every night Trading off and taking, taking Taking turns Don't tell me that it's alright I just want to watch it Watch burn Ashes on my hands every night Trading off and taking, taking Taking
3.
It feels like the end of the world There are no heroes left They're all in jail for telling girls You could be the one who's next I don't want to wake up on the side of the road For not doing what I'm told anymore I don't want to check out when it seems like too much And besides you won't budge for anyone It is a state of emergency They're trying to build a wall They're trying to take everything you've got Until you've got nothing at all I don't want to wake up on the side of the road For not doing what I'm told anymore I don't want to check out when it seems like too much And besides you won't budge for anyone Ok, alright I'm over it It was a false alarm I take it back Somebody dismantle this Fall back Disarm Fall back Disarm It feels like the end of the world There are no heroes left They're all in jail for telling girls You could be the one who's next I don't want to wake up on the side of the road But I'm not doing what I'm told anymore I don't want to check out when it seems like too much And besides you won't budge for anyone Ok, alright I'm over it It was a false alarm I take it back Somebody dismantle this Fall back Disarm Fall back Disarm It feels like the end of the world
4.
Here I am again In my life without you I look up at the stars Cause that is what you'd do If you were here right now And I were beside you I knew you'd let me down But I could not forget you I moved some things around It still looks empty Everyone in this town Has known since they met me If I would have known better If I could just stay the same If you could forget her If I never knew your name And I'll never know why It was always the wrong time It was always another day Until you could walk away And now you want me to stay I wrote the reasons down It didn't add up I made some calls around Your friends called it bad luck And they said it wasn't like you But still they could not believe And now no one will notice That you never loved me And I'll never know why It was always the wrong time It was always another day Until you could walk away And now I'm supposed to stay
5.
Call It Off 04:15
I have been looking all my life for you Say you're going to stay but you never do And I wait all day for the phone to ring Come on tell me something Tell me anything Go on call it off because I just can't take Waking up alone with all my mistakes I search for you everywhere I go I'm coming apart more than you can know Tell me that it's over now And you're coming home If you can't find a way to get out Then I'll leave it alone But I can feel you when you I go to sleep And I can see you lying next to me And I don't know if I can believe You say you're going to call it off For me I used to think I couldn't understand Falling for someone else's man But now I know better Yeah, what do I know Cause I can't have you and I can't let you go Tell me that it's over now And you're coming home Either that or let me down and just leave it alone I don't want to hear about How it used to be Or why you can't hurt her So you just hurt me But I still feel you when you I go to sleep And I can see you lying next to me And I don't know if I can believe But you say you're going to call it off Say you're going to call it off Say you're going to call it off For me
6.
I think you just like to see what you can get away with It got away from me Can you tell me why man deceives And is it even on you If I wanted to believe I just want to know why I even wait up when I should really go Is it that I never learned to be alone Or is it that the damage starts to feel like home And so I hid myself away From everybody Everything You all turn out the same now don't you, boy You know, the awful truth may be I didn't like you more than me Right now right by my side I've got all I need I seem to forget I was doing just fine back before we met Is it any wonder I got nothing left When every time I wake up I've already given you my best And so I hid myself away From everybody Everything Don't you all turn out the same now don't you, boy You know the awful truth may be I didn't like you more than me And right now right by my side I've got all I need
7.
Ghosties 03:38
When I look in the mirror, I still see The same old little kid I used to be The monsters in the halls, ghosts in the trees They can hear me And everything I know just goes away There's nothing I can do or that I can say If I never really mattered much to you anyway But if I don't hear them, then nobody will And they haunt me through the walls and through the windowsills And when nobody calls, they try to send me a bill For the standstill If anyone can hear me, I'm doing fine Just trying to navigate this heart of mine The problem with the looking, is you might find Some kind of landmine And every time I try, try to explain It aways seems to turn, turn out the same What do I gotta tell you If it's in my brain, what does that change? But if I don't hear them, then nobody will And they haunt me through the walls and through the windowsills And when somebody calls, they try to send me a bill For the standstill But if I don't hear them, nobody will When I look in the mirror, I still see The same old little kid I used to be The monsters in the halls, ghosts in the trees They can hear me And everything I want just goes away There's nothing I can do or that I can say If I never really mattered much to you anyway But if I don't hear them, then nobody will And they haunt me through the walls and through the windowsills And when somebody calls, they try to send me a bill For the standstill But if I don't hear them Nobody will Yeah if I don't hear them Nobody will
8.
Dogs 02:31
All of these dogs In the country They're either roaming around or on chains I just want to hold on to when I met you It's all that I can do to stop from screaming out your name To an old bunch of stars and the long lost call of a train I had a stare-down with a rooster on a back county road It's like he wanted to square off Without you it feels crazy laughing about it for days after the fact If I told you I would know by the look on your face it really is that funny And you'd be laughing at it for days But I just drove to the city Cause the noise gives me something to do If we were soldiers in a battle I would go back for you and you'd act like you were shell shocked, didn't make it and had no recollection of anything that had happened Is it cause you can't stand the look on my face when I've come unfastened And it's just way easier to erase everything that you told me And the fact that I even exist
9.
I don't want to wait up anymore For the weight of this to change Looking at the edge I have come to know It's just one more step away You could call the cops but the cops won't come They were here the other day They kicked the door down "She might not make it" Is all I could here them say And now I'm halfway between the living and the dead Can I take back the words that you said Cause it's all around me now This time I can't get out You are never tied to anything Nor as trapped as one might think Looking back now it was by design By a woman on the brink Who was halfway between the living and the dead Can I take back the words that I said Too scared to even go outside It's okay I think I've lived enough life And it's all around me now This time I can't get out And it's all around me now This time This time This time
10.
I always knew I'd disappear And build myself a quiet life Write my name out in the clear And not in the sky in lights I don't know how I knew That with me out of the spotlight There'd be more room for you We don't always take the right road It's just a path you choose If you can't find your own way back home It doesn't mean you win or loose I might not always say the right thing I might not always be the one But I wanted you to know I don't regret a thing So long, it's been fun I always knew I'd disappear And build myself a quiet life Write my name out in the clear And not in the sky in lights

credits

released June 6, 2019

Produced and Engineered by Billy Pettinger at Lost Studios in Harvest, Alabama.

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Billy Pettinger Alabama

Song maker from Canada now in Alabama.

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